I bought a NEW truck instead.

My credit wouldn't allow me to buy a used truck, but GMAC financing would allow me to buy a brand-new FORD. So I bought a 2010 Ford F-250 Crew Cab.
It's white with blacked out grill and sprayed-in bedliner. It has the trailer package, extendable mirrors, and built-in trailer brake module. Sirius XM radio. Bucket seats with a center console. It was built in Kentucky.
It's a nice truck.

I'm putting wind deflectors over the windows today, and I've already put seat covers and a steering wheel cover on it.
I need a locking camper shell so that I can secure my tools in the back. Eventually I need side steps to help me get in to the derned thing without having to do a triple-lunde.

I'm proud of my new truck, but scared of scratching it and bumping it. I've never had anything this new and nice before. Is it worth it?

Have a great day.
MsAmber

So, I'm trying to buy a truck.

There are a few small obstacles... it seems as though finance companies would rather loan me $40,000 for a NEW truck than $31,000 for a used truck.
But the used truck is one I like.

Let me tell you about the used truck.

It's a 2008 GMC Sierra K2500. It has extended cab, tow package, 6 1/2 foot bed, bed liner, gooseneck hideaway hitch, 4X4, 6.6 liter duramax diesel, Allison transmission, and it's metal-flake black cherry (more of a plum-purple in my opinion). It only has 48,330 miles on it and it's beautiful.
That's the truck I want. It's a 3/4 ton, but it's not as tall as the new 3/4 ton trucks. I looked around at new trucks and they are all too tall. I can't even see into the bed of a new 3/4 ton truck without getting up on the bumper.

Anyway, keep your fingers crossed. I'm of the opinion that if too many obstacles are in the way of me getting it, then maybe God doesn't think I should. So I've been going with that.
I would like to have it though...

I'll let you know how that turns out.

Have a great day.
MsAmber

another pleasant morning...

Door is open and I'm drinking my coffee and blogging.
This is what morning is supposed to be.

Hum de hum hum hum.

MsAmber

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Continuance: The boys decided to quit.
I wish them well.

Today marks officially three months on this project and I am more than 3/4 done with a four-month job. That's a good thing. I do need another tech though if I'm to stay on track.

I am having such an allergy/sinus fit. Sore throat and congestion in my neck. I feel the pressure when I bend over, it feels like my head is going to explode. I woke myself up several times last night snoring. You know that's bad when you snore so loud that you startle yourself. I'll live. Just need to knock this out before it becomes an infection. I've been handling a lot of mold and mildew lately. A bunch of the boxes of cable had gotten wet and when I broke down the boxes, they were full of mold. I knew it would get to me. That's the only thing I'm really allergic to.

Some storms rolled in last night around 9. It was wonderful. The temperature finally broke and it cooled to the mid 70s. It rained off and on all night. This morning it was still overcast with sprinkles. I have the door open and it's nice. So glad to be done with the 100 plus temperatures. That was kicking my ass. One of the only things I don't like about working nights is the unbearable heat of the day when I get up and get out. When it's this hot, I need to get up at 5 am so I can acclimate to the temperature rising. I usually started mowing the lawn at 6 am and I'm ok to work through the day because I heated up WITH the day. You can't just emerge from your air-conditioned house at 11 and start working. You'd have a heatstroke in 45 minutes. Lately though, because of my schedule, I sleep until 11 and it's already so hot outside that it feels like a blast furnace.

I smacked the back of my hand against a piece of sharp concrete last night. It turned purple and swelled a bit. Now it's just a real sore scrape.
Whimper, whine...

I need some alone time. Time to read a book or put on my headphones and jam out. I think my real problem is that I miss mornings. I love my early morning time. The days just don't feel right when you miss the whole morning. I like to sit outside or just open the door and drink my coffee and smoke my cigarette and get my head right. I do my best thinking during that time. In fact: I'm a veritable Einstein at 6:30 am. Solve all the world's ills. Yeah right. LOL.

I should put on a hat and get my butt to work. It's still early, but I like to go in early every day. I took two extra strength headache relief pills that have aspirin, acetaminophen, and caffeine, so my headache just left. I'm ready to roll now.
Gotta go, gotta go.
Have a great day.
MsAmber

Drama at work.

Thursday after work, I held a meeting with the guys. I told them that I admired them both and thought well of them, but if they really don't like to work with me and follow the rules, then they need to report back to the office to be re-dispatched. They were late every day last week and left early every day. I lost about 20 hours of productivity between the both of them (2.5 hours X 4 days X 2 guys). "T" responded that the only reason he works so hard is so that he can get off early every day, and he would rather be doing roofs next week than put in his 40 hours here. I told him that was unacceptable. Take your tools and go home and think about it, if you decide you want to fly right and do the job, then come back on Monday. If not, I already have replacement technicians lined up.

Verdict is still out whether or not they're coming back to work.

Frankly, I hope they don't. "T" has proven to me that he can't be straight up and honest. He vents and complains behind my back about stuff that I know nothing of.
I can't fix what I don't know. Nothing worse than trying to guess whether or not somebody is going to flake out on you and quit. He's a pretty good kid, but definitely a weasel. Just hasn't been working at a real job very long. He hates being told what to do. The harder he's pushed, the more he rebels.
Sound familiar? ha ha ha.

I asked "R" to stay out of it, if the boys make a decision they need to decide by themselves. Don't give them an inflated sense of self-worth by telling them they are needed. I need the problem to be solved, not to continue as if I hadn't drawn a line in the sand. He likes to play both sides and I'm worried that he will coerce the boys by telling them that he will play interference with me if they will come back. That's not a solution. "R" told me today that he spoke with them this weekend and he seems to think they will be back.

I'm betting if they come back, that will be the reason why, and not because they decided to fly right. Or possibly because they still have one more week of perdiem left and don't want to sacrifice a paycheck to pay it back.

I'm going to request that they only receive perdiem one week at a time from here on out. "T" is too flaky to trust right now. (If they show up today - that's still an "if".)

Damn the politics.

Well, I gotta shower and go to work.
You have a great day.

MsAmber

The Mosque is two blocks away?

Someone was quick to point out to me that the proposed building site of the Muslim Mosque is actually two blocks away from ground zero in NYC.

Now, That's an entirely different matter. Thanks for that. I'm not opposed to building a mosque. I have no problem with building a mosque. The news reported that it was AT ground zero. That's what I had a problem with. Two blocks away? No big deal. Freedom of religion and all that. Go for it.

And no, anonymous, I do not feel that all Christians should be held accountable for the Crusades, just the ones who are still "Crusading". Just as all Muslims aren't responsible for those who are engaged in "Jihad", just the ones who are still "Jihading".

I still wonder what in the world is wrong with some people...
I went to the lake a couple of weeks ago and was sitting on a rock soaking my feet in the water, having a pleasant afternoon. Some guys came up to the dam and stripped off their shirts and jumped in. They swam over to where I was sitting to climb out of the lake and I saw HUGE tattoo'd swastikas all over one of them.
Oops. Time to go.

My ex-girlfriend Shiloh invited me over to visit a couple of months back. She has a new boyfriend who she wanted me to meet. He was rude, self-centered, arrogant, and a general asshole. He had an "SS" lightning bolts tattoo on his neck. I told her that I will never visit again. She acted like it was no big deal that he has an "SS" tattoo. She tried to defend him to me by saying that she was sure there wasn't a political bone in his body. Well, sweetheart, I'm not mad because you're dating a Democrat. You need to wake up and smell the coffee.

Freakin' American Nazis. What the Hell???!!!

I still don't get it.

Have a great day.
MsAmber

A mosque at ground zero. Really???

It feels like a blast furnace out there.

The hospital seemed warm last night also. We were all wet with sweat last night. It finally cooled off to 91 degrees outside about 10:30 pm. The hospital was at least 75 inside, maybe nearly 80.

I've completed my paperwork for the past two days and I'm just sitting here jamming on some music, drinking my coffee, and playing on the 'puter. It's not really morning, but it feels like it to me. I have three hours before I need to be at work, and I'm still in my pajamas. If my mother could see me now...

I try not to get in to social issues on here, but I am quite disturbed by the news of a Muslim Mosque being built at ground zero NYC. I don't think the Feds can really do anything about it because of the whole "protected status" of a religious group. It's all being handled by the media and the private sector. Why don't they just paint a great big bulls-eye on the damn thing. Do you really think that many of the disillusioned and angry Americans are going to pass up on a chance to blow up a Muslim Mosque that was built as an insult? I'm trying to think up the reasons for wanting to build RIGHT THERE a mosque, and the only thing that comes to mind is that it is an insult. I thought that Muslim Americans were just as outraged about the bombings as we. This idea just flies in the face of decency and propriety.
It's like putting a sign in a widow's yard that says: "I killed your husband and I'm not sorry, ha ha ha." and she can't take it down.
At this point, the site of the twin towers should be considered hallowed ground. I know in NYC that buildings come and buildings go, and property values are outrageously high, and everything is for sale to the highest bidder, etc. But can't we stop this? As outraged Americans, can't we stop this? I would rather spoil the ground than see an enemy prosper off it. Burn it. Curse it. Whatever.

Whatever happened to the plans to make a memorial? Has that been abandoned in the name of the almighty dollar, or did all the procrastinators lose their chance?

There is a lot going on in the news that makes me wonder why, but this one simple issue is the one that seems to be ringing in my head the most. I am seeing into the future and I think that the insulting mosque will be a target for anger, and a catalyst for polarization of loyalties. It will divide us. Particularly when the peaceniks begin to take up the banner of the "victims", (who weren't victims to begin with), and all we'll be left with is two sides in opposition. I see a soon end to the complacency that has made us soft, but I'm not a little afraid of how it will break.

Viva la revolucion.

Unfortunately, I know all too well the ignorant scum that is going to wind up on the side of the Loyalists. The haters, bigots, and American Nazis - all with guns.

I'm going to cease this line of thinking for now, it just irritates me.

Have a great day.
MsAmber

I volunteered to help...

Jeremy's parents' house has a bad sinking spot between the bathroom and the dining room. Right in the middle of the house. Let's not understate the problem, there is a BAD sinking spot IN the bathroom and dining room. Like you are lilting and walking downhill. The toilet leans also.
We decided to tackle it.

We have some 2X8 pressure treated boards, several 4X4s and 2 20-ton house jacks.
We ripped up 6 layers of flooring to get to the floor joists.

OMG!

The more we get into it, the more we see needs fixed.
It looks like we need to demolish out the entire bathroom, shower, cabinets, pull up the toilet, and replace/brace all the joists. We did a beam replacement last night. Broke a water line and had to fix it. Made one heck of a mess. The wall is not supported on a beam. The doorway looks like it was in "Beetlejuice". The wall has no footer and the 2X4s are rotted. The floor decking layers have been holding puddles between them for quite a while. As we jacked up a joist, we thought we had a water leak, it was just a puddle draining off. Goodness, what a mess we got ourselves into.

It needed to be tackled sometime, anyway. Just wish we had a full week to get it done without having to stop.

Wow.

This is FUN!


You have a great day. I gotta go to work (at my REAL job).
MsAmber

Hunger makes me mean...

Yep, I finally figured it out.

So. Yesterday my friend Jeremy and I went to Lawton. I wanted an extension cable for my dremel and a power-washer. I saw the Sprint store, and since I've been having problems with my phone for a while, I stopped in. The first thing I said was: "I have a problem and I need you to fix it, and I don't want to spend all day!" They diagnosed my problem as a battery issue and it's not under warranty and they don't have any batteries. So I got a little aggravated and proceeded to eat their faces off while they sold me a new phone and extended my contract for another two years. While they activated the new phone and moved all my contacts over, I went outside for a cigarette. Jeremy said "Remind me never to go into a Sprint store with you ever again!" We had a little heated discussion outside, I finally pulled my head out of my ass and realized that he was right, so I went back inside and apologized for being so awful. I did tell them that my experiences with Sprint have never been good, that something always gets screwed up, but that wasn't their fault and I shouldn't have taken it out on them.
They took a long time, and they said it was because they were transferring over all my pictures to the new phone.
Guess what? My pictures are NOT on my new phone.
Everything else went smoothly though, and my new phone works. I was eligible for an upgrade, but there was an $18 upgrade fee, and the phone cost me $108 (normally $300 or so they said.) and there is a $50 rebate that I need to mail in.
Gosh, Sprint aggravates the hell out of me.

Afterwards, we went straight to Arby's and ate lunch. My temper went away and we had a good day of tool-shopping.
Jeremy observed that I'm impossible to get along with when I'm hungry.

That definitely explains the past year. I went through the summer of '09 only eating fish and rice and drinking black coffee. I was hungry and I was mean.

So there you have it. Hunger makes me mean.

We went to Lowe's and looked at power washers, then we went to Home Depot and looked at power washers. I almost settled for a Honda, but then we cruised through the refurb department and there she was: a Ridgid commercial 3000 psi with a Subaru engine and a rebuildable pump, refurbished with a 3-year manufacturers warranty. Marked down from $600 to $427. I bought an extra 50' hose and a gallon of soap.
She's AWESOME!

I power washed my rv in the dark last night. I just couldn't wait to try it.

We went to Sears and I also bought a flex extension for my dremel and a couple of new tips.

Yesterday was fairly expensive. I'm staying away from Lawton for a while.

I don't consider tool purchases to be frivolous. They are an investment, and I can make money with the power washer. I collect tools, and I have a lot of them, if the world went to hell tomorrow, I can still make my way.

I'm such a freak.

You have a great day.
MsAmber

Quality

I like tools. I like creating something. At the end of the day, I like to look at something tangible as the reward for my efforts.
Although I'm responsible and reliable, I prefer to stay "down here" as a worker-bee because it makes me happy. Granted, I'm not a 20-something anymore, and I have to guzzle a gallon of coffee to fake it, and I can't run circles around the boys like I used to... I'm still really good.

I have two young guys on my crew who work like squirrels on crack. I love it. Then I have two older guys (my age...) who hate being on my job. They talk all the time about how they've worked for the past 10 years trying NOT to use their tools. They consider it a slap-in-the-face to be demoted to pulling cable. Their words are poison to my soul.

They are trying to make their case to me by telling me that I'm not a kid anymore either, and someday I'll wake up and my hands will be arthritic and I'll realize that I should have been climbing that ladder to be in management. I should have been wearing that business suit and making the big money. I should have been an engineer, etc.

I've given this a lot of thought. Nope. I won't regret it. I'm not geared that way. I cannot find satisfaction in a paycheck. I find my satisfaction in a job well done. I LIKE creating, building, working with my hands. I shall work until I can't. I don't seem to be able to express this very well, they don't understand me any more than I can understand them.

You may disagree with me, but the paycheck means nothing but "we appreciate you". I deserve a raise, but it's not the amount of money that I make that turns me on. A raise would just show that I'm appreciated. Gosh, I give away more money than I spend on myself. That's terribly unheard-of these days, but I really don't give a damn about money. I can make money standing on my head. It's simply a means to get what you want. If you don't use it now, it will expire and disintegrate. (I know that's not really what happens.) I am happy every day just knowing that I have another project to complete. It's the work that I love.

I do intend to teach telecommunications someday. When I'm too old to keep up, I'll teach it, but don't expect me to stop DOING it.

It is starting to drag me down to listen to them go on and on about their dis-satisfaction with having to work physically. They consider themselves "above" this menial labor. I'm trying not to take it personally, but neither one is better than me. In fact: if I had to give them a report card, they would barely make a "C". I'm sure the reason for their lack of quality is their lack of enthusiasm. They just don't give a shit. I was raised to do everything to the best of my ability. If I'm digging ditches, I'll dig the best ditches you ever saw. If I'm washing dishes, I'll wash the dishes, the wall, the backsplash, clean the oven, and take out the trash. If I'm folding sheets, I'll have a daydream that I'm in the National Sheet Folding Contest and I'm contending for the trophy. I guess that's just the way I am.

Their poisonous words are starting to affect me in that I'm losing heart. I almost have to drag myself to work. I wish they would just go away. Silly, I know. I smile and listen, try to inject my enthusiasm into them. The negativity is causing a little resentment with my young guys also. They are feeling a little resentful that they are uncomplainingly carrying all the weight of the job, but the two older guys are carrying all their self-importance around.

Imagine working with guys who think they are too good to do the job, they lack the quality, they won't go the extra mile, they question every decision ("I'm just saying, if this were MY job I would...") and honestly: their bearing and manners just aren't fit for public. They talk loudly and inappropriately for an indoor environment. I almost want to hide them in the basement sometimes.

These really are small matters. Nothing big enough to request help for. Just minor, temporary aggravations.
I wish I could just do the job. Plug in to my music and get in the groove and make some beautiful artwork out of a perfect installation.
But no, I'm the project manager. I have to balance the personalities with the abilities and get the job done.

But if I were able to really call the shots?

I would never hire anybody over 30. I would train my crews myself and we would get it done. I have so much knowledge to teach, and so much enthusiasm, and my love of quality. I would turn out some magnificent technicians if they could hang with it for just one year. Senior technicians if they could hang for two.
This stuff really isn't hard. Like my old boss used to say: "If it were easy, a girl could do it!".

I still say that to myself from time to time and chuckle.

You have a great day.

MsAmber

Don't Forget...

The four day work week drags on and seems to never end. The three days off fly by and I can never get everything done. Perception, I'm sure.
I don't know whether I'm coming or going.

I sometimes have these weird nightmares about bathrooms. In one of them, it's a big house with lots of nooks and crannies that have toilets, but no doors. I get panicked that I can't find a private place to go to the bathroom. In another dream, it's a big long chicken-coop type structure with screened windows down both long walls and a double row of outhouse holes running down the center. It kinda feels like a concentration camp but that's not the distress: I can't find a private place to go to the bathroom. I have bathroom nightmares. Not all the time, but often enough that it makes me think and I laugh about them.

The other night I had the opposite dream. I was sitting in a restaurant having dinner with friends and there was this little booster chair in the booth beside me. It was a little porta-potty. The urge hit me so I just slid it under myself and started straining to poop. I was suddenly snapped to embarrassment when the woman across from me leaned over and said: "Amber, there ARE bathrooms." I was flabbergasted and humiliated. It was like I just forgot myself and started shitting in public. I was mortified that I just started to do that without realizing. I turned red and felt the worst kind of embarrassment ever. I was relieved when I woke up and discovered that it was just a dream. It left me with the impression that I just lost my mind and forgot what NOT to do.

When I went skydiving, I remember overriding my brain. My brain said "NO!" and I deliberately fell out of the airplane anyway. My punishment for such a crime was to dream that I broke that safety mechanism in my brain and I would jump off buildings and fall off cliffs with regularity. My brain got even with me for forcing it to do something that it was hard-wired to stop. I even imagined that I felt the little "pop" of circuits breaking. I've had my doubts since then, if overriding safety protocols is really an okay thing to do. The bathroom dream reminded me of this because the falling dreams made me wonder if someday I might "forget" not to jump off a building. Now I wonder if I'll "forget" not to take a shit in public.

I might laugh about this later, but right now, I'm just a little disturbed.



Change Subject:

When I first came here to Altus, there was a guy Frank, and his live-in pregnant girlfriend Ellen and their little boy Junior, who lived in a decrepit rv right behind me. I befriended Ellen and I've taken her shopping a few times, and we got our nails done together every Friday, and I hire her to help me with stuff around the house. Frank was a real piece of work. Couldn't hold down a job. Prioritized beer over his kid or pregnant wife. I really didn't care for him much.
Friday, Frank fell off a grain elevator and died.
Ellen is 7 months pregnant and though she's a gold-hearted little gal, she's severely under-educated and I'm afraid for her future. She now has to figure out how to bury him and feed Junior and house herself. She told me that his employer may not help pay to bury Frank, and it seems to me that the situation is pretty near hopeless. I don't know what to do. I'm actually scared to get involved and I don't want to step-in and fix everything and take on all the responsibilities. I don't want her to know that I feel Frank's loss wasn't terrible. I don't know how to help. I'm sad for her.

That's what's on my mind right now. I'm out of words.

MsAmber