Quality

I like tools. I like creating something. At the end of the day, I like to look at something tangible as the reward for my efforts.
Although I'm responsible and reliable, I prefer to stay "down here" as a worker-bee because it makes me happy. Granted, I'm not a 20-something anymore, and I have to guzzle a gallon of coffee to fake it, and I can't run circles around the boys like I used to... I'm still really good.

I have two young guys on my crew who work like squirrels on crack. I love it. Then I have two older guys (my age...) who hate being on my job. They talk all the time about how they've worked for the past 10 years trying NOT to use their tools. They consider it a slap-in-the-face to be demoted to pulling cable. Their words are poison to my soul.

They are trying to make their case to me by telling me that I'm not a kid anymore either, and someday I'll wake up and my hands will be arthritic and I'll realize that I should have been climbing that ladder to be in management. I should have been wearing that business suit and making the big money. I should have been an engineer, etc.

I've given this a lot of thought. Nope. I won't regret it. I'm not geared that way. I cannot find satisfaction in a paycheck. I find my satisfaction in a job well done. I LIKE creating, building, working with my hands. I shall work until I can't. I don't seem to be able to express this very well, they don't understand me any more than I can understand them.

You may disagree with me, but the paycheck means nothing but "we appreciate you". I deserve a raise, but it's not the amount of money that I make that turns me on. A raise would just show that I'm appreciated. Gosh, I give away more money than I spend on myself. That's terribly unheard-of these days, but I really don't give a damn about money. I can make money standing on my head. It's simply a means to get what you want. If you don't use it now, it will expire and disintegrate. (I know that's not really what happens.) I am happy every day just knowing that I have another project to complete. It's the work that I love.

I do intend to teach telecommunications someday. When I'm too old to keep up, I'll teach it, but don't expect me to stop DOING it.

It is starting to drag me down to listen to them go on and on about their dis-satisfaction with having to work physically. They consider themselves "above" this menial labor. I'm trying not to take it personally, but neither one is better than me. In fact: if I had to give them a report card, they would barely make a "C". I'm sure the reason for their lack of quality is their lack of enthusiasm. They just don't give a shit. I was raised to do everything to the best of my ability. If I'm digging ditches, I'll dig the best ditches you ever saw. If I'm washing dishes, I'll wash the dishes, the wall, the backsplash, clean the oven, and take out the trash. If I'm folding sheets, I'll have a daydream that I'm in the National Sheet Folding Contest and I'm contending for the trophy. I guess that's just the way I am.

Their poisonous words are starting to affect me in that I'm losing heart. I almost have to drag myself to work. I wish they would just go away. Silly, I know. I smile and listen, try to inject my enthusiasm into them. The negativity is causing a little resentment with my young guys also. They are feeling a little resentful that they are uncomplainingly carrying all the weight of the job, but the two older guys are carrying all their self-importance around.

Imagine working with guys who think they are too good to do the job, they lack the quality, they won't go the extra mile, they question every decision ("I'm just saying, if this were MY job I would...") and honestly: their bearing and manners just aren't fit for public. They talk loudly and inappropriately for an indoor environment. I almost want to hide them in the basement sometimes.

These really are small matters. Nothing big enough to request help for. Just minor, temporary aggravations.
I wish I could just do the job. Plug in to my music and get in the groove and make some beautiful artwork out of a perfect installation.
But no, I'm the project manager. I have to balance the personalities with the abilities and get the job done.

But if I were able to really call the shots?

I would never hire anybody over 30. I would train my crews myself and we would get it done. I have so much knowledge to teach, and so much enthusiasm, and my love of quality. I would turn out some magnificent technicians if they could hang with it for just one year. Senior technicians if they could hang for two.
This stuff really isn't hard. Like my old boss used to say: "If it were easy, a girl could do it!".

I still say that to myself from time to time and chuckle.

You have a great day.

MsAmber