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Regarding Health Insurance...

OK, I've been on the same health insurance - Cigna - for 6 years. I had a doctor named Dr. Vascellaro during that time. He and I worked through my Zoloft years and tried a couple different antidepressants, until we finally settled on Cymbalta.
I've been working out of town for many months. During that time my doctor sold his family practice and is now an attending physician for Norman Regional Hospital. Which wasn't in my Cigna network so I never found another doctor. A family member gave me their bottle of double dose Cymbalta, a couple months' worth and I have been taking them. Now, as of December 1st, my Cigna insurance is ended and my BCBS of Oklahoma insurance is in effect. To make matters worse, I'm in Shreveport and I'm about to run out of Cymbalta.
I'm in a new management position at work and this requires me to be at my peak performance. I'm afraid to run out of Cymbalta during this period. I simply need to see a new doctor and get my prescription refilled. Maybe consult on the fact that I upped my dose without permission from my old doctor...
I read the back of my new BCBS card and it has a number to find a local provider. Good. Check. Done. Then there's another number that says: Precertification Required. What is Precertification? Do I need to do it? Will I lose anything? Like benefits for a pre-existing condition or what? I don't understand, and I don't want to call BCBS and tell them anything that might enable them not to pay for my consultation.
Who do I ask and how do you figure this stuff out?

Thanks,
MsAmber

December 7, 1007

The hospital flew the flag at half-mast today. It was the anniversary of the bombing at Pearl Harbor. Met an interesting old vet today named JD. He was pretty funny. Had quit drinking for over 20 years. He was a slight man in a wheelchair and he had no teeth, but he was amazingly feisty.

I was thinking this morning of some of my childhood quirks...

I collected bugs. When I was 5, we lived in Pelahatchie Mississippi. We had an 80 acre farm. We had a big pond which had beaver dams and lots of turtles. We fished it with super-long cane poles. We had a big barn with a pig sty, a HUGE garden which grew all our food, a chicken coop full of chickens, a leaning wooden clapboard house, a turkey-fig tree, a two-seater outhouse, and a water cistern.

At least twice each summer, the parents had to mow down the fields. On these eventful days, the children gathered bugs. The action of the tractor made the insects go crazy and swarm all around. We were particularly interested in the largest grasshoppers and praying-mantises. We had grasshoppers with abdomens so large that they looked like striped flying bananas. We caught praying mantises and walking-sticks at about 7 inches long. Our mother, who was a college chemistry student/teacher and fancied herself a real scientist, pinned the hapless critters to her wooden bookshelves in a marching formation. She always had full-wall shelves made of concrete blocks and 2X12's. For most of my life, she had our coolest bugs pinned across the shelves.

I started public school with my bug fascination intact. I had a perfect teacher named Mrs. Bart Cannon, she had beautiful dark hair that was curled under all around her face, she loved her husband, who visited the class in a wheelchair and had fought in VietNam. Most of all, though, she took the time to look at my bugs and identify them for me. I was constantly bringing bugs in jars and she would always know what they were.

As a way of encouraging me, the school invented awards to give to me. I got certificates for "Best Bug Collector" and "Most Interesting Bug". I was really proud of them. To this day, Mrs. Bart Cannon is my favorite teacher of all time.

My future teachers could never compete or compare. I judged my teachers based on their knowledge of bugs. If they didn't know something or didn't have the patience to try, I never fully respected them. I know that acting precocious to your teachers is not conducive to good grades, but I thought teachers were supposed to know everything, and bugs are all around. If they don't know something simple like that... well.

I still have a minor fascination with bugs. I pick them up and look at them. I'll usually show it to whomever is near and point out something interesting about the bug, then put it back where I found it.

Would you consider me wierd?

MsAmber

December 3, 2007

It was a typical Monday, by the way.
On Sunday, we installed two new 100 pair entrance protectors and ran new crossconnect to all the stations in building 7. Which brings us to the next day; there are some phones to troubleshoot first thing, I have 4 new guys onsite that need to be shown where/how to be badged. These two hurdles are compounded by the fact that my 2400 new jacks are in a sort of shipping purgatory and you have a perfect Monday morning.

Eh, quitcher whinin'.

I guess what's bugging me is this: Conference Calls. Is it just me, or does a conference call seem to take so much concentration to figure out who is talking and in what context, that it totally distracts from what is being said. After any conference call, I have to roll over and over in my mind each and every detail and then I start to understand. I also think of what I should have said, about 30 minutes too late.

The conference call I just finished wasn't bad, really. I've been on much worse. My boss Mike has a wonderful and pleasant way of working a conference call. He is soft spoken and doesn't overtalk anyone, but he is reassuring and encouraging, and he keeps the discussion on relevant topics. I'm really impressed. Wish I could learn how to do that. Conference calls really stress me out because I can't see the person to whom I am listening, and there are several anonymous voices that I'm supposed to put into context. When is the Engineer talking? When is the Designer talking? Which person am I supposed to give the optimistic answer, and to which do I give the REAL answer?

After each conference call, I always have to sit for a while and think about everything that was said and review my notes. I feel tired, as if I worked all day. Does this get any easier with time?

Funny, but I was scheduled into two conference calls at the same time and I had to pick the most important one. That's never happened before...

Thanks for listening,
MsAmber

November 28, 2007

Rob and I have decided to divorce. It was a mutual decision and there are no arguments or animosity. We are trying to remain friends, but it's hard to see each other right now. Much less talk about anything.

It's been a wonderful 6 years. Wouldn't trade them for anything. But now it's over and I'm getting my spark back.

Have you ever noticed that when you are in a relationship you begin to get squeezed into someone else's mold of what you should be? It starts small enough: little things like shaving your legs or making sure you clean the hair out of your hairbrush because he can't stand it. Then, before you know it, you have to say "I love you" on queue. He says "I love you", then YOU have to say it back (even though at that moment you are actually wondering how he would look as a corpse).

I am an individual. Why do people think that two people getting together become one person? Can't they be two people, together?

I don't want to be "changed" by someone. I don't need to be fixed, I'm not broken. I like who I am. I am honest, hard working, funny, smart, and I have long hair that gets stuck in the hairbrush. I also have stubby pinky-toes, I have a tendency to be chubby, I get scratched up and bruised at work, I wear my toolbelt with pride, I hate shaving my legs, I'm a caffeine addict, I smoke too much, I don't brush my hair enough, I repeat myself, I make good money, I snore, I grind my teeth, I leave dishes in the sink, and I cuss sometimes.

Oh...freakin'...well!

MsAmber

November 23, 2007

I've been playing with my guitar lately. I had set it aside because I felt like I wasn't making any progress. Now, I've started at page 1 and read and practiced all the way up to page 10, and that's about when it lost me. I need to hear someone play the tune I'm stuck on, so I know what it's supposed to sound like.
I gave up on learning tabulature and decided to learn how to read music at the same time I'm learning how to play the guitar. Only now, I don't have the benefit of a teacher to ask questions of.
So... I'll just keep on practicing the early fundamentals until I can figure out the next part.
I've always imagined myself playing the guitar. Fantasizing about it, actually. Me with my long blonde hair sitting indian-style by a campfire and singing funny old songs like "Big Rock-Candy Mountains". So I'm going to learn how to play the guitar. Period. No more procrastinating, I've got nothing but time and I'm out of good books to read.
Anyway, I gotta get back after it... I'm on the third string.

Hugs and jack-o'-lanterns,
MsAmber

Shreveport Thanksgiving

So, here I sit in Shreveport for Thanksgiving.
I've always loved Louisiana. I have traveled all over the United States and have seen some beautiful places, but Louisiana has always stayed in the back of my mind as a place I want to live someday. I like the people, the food, the trees and the swamps. My daily commute to the city never has a traffic-backup. Everyone smiles and says "Good Morning". The poverty is fairly depressing to see, but the attitudes of the people are generally cheerful. There are birds and squirrels running around all the time. My apartment is on the second floor so the view from my bedroom is all trees. A big patch of trees. The wind started to blow and big black clouds were rolling in yesterday evening so I opened the windows and just watched. I felt electrified. It reminded me of when I used to watch the animals dance in the wind.
Have you ever seen wind-dancing?
Horses, goats, and sometimes dogs will start prancing and spinning and dancing around in the wind. I used to join them and start spinning and dancing in the wind with wild abandon. I'm sure anyone watching would have thought I fell off my rocker, but it's invigorating.
I used to explain to children that wind is important. It knocks the leaves off the trees before winter, it prunes the trees in the winter, it spreads seeds and pollen in the summer, and in the Springtime it opens up the 'veins' so the sap can rise in the trees. So when you view the wind from that perspective, you can really enjoy it.
The other day I pulled through a parking-lot that had some cottonwood trees shedding. It was awesome to see all the white fluff flying around. Wish I could have gotten out of the truck and just watched for a while. It was quite a sight.
I'll be in Shreveport for about 9 months. I am installing a new PBX in the VA Hospital. It seems like it's going to be a fairly easy install. I'm glad I get to see Autumn, Winter, Spring and Summer here. There are a lot of trees and you all know how much I love my trees! Mostly ancient Oaks, but some long-needle Pines and lace-leaf Elm scattered about. It's going to be a great time here.
I think I'll spend New Years' in New Orleans this year!

Ya'll have a great Thanksgiving.

MsAmber

Interesting tidbits

I just took a walk down memory lane. I cleaned out my jewelry box. I found mementos, tarnished jewelry, "things that are important only to me", and lagniappe.
I have:
a miniature turtle shell - given to me by a little girl who used to go plinking with me.
...a full set of baby teeth - I was the tooth fairy for an adored stepson many years ago.
...a silver cross - given to me by an older couple who entertained me on many a Sunday-after-church-buffet.
...a copper ring that a construction worker cut off the end of a pipe and presented to me on a jobsite years ago. I deburred it with a round file and scratched my initials around it.
...two zippos that need flints and fuel.
...two torch lighters that have flashing LEDs, but are empty of fuel.
...a silver-and-turquoise lighter cover and a custom made lighter cover.
...a waterproof container of matches and a snake-bite kit.
...dozens of miscellaneous buttons (buttons that fell off, and spare buttons that come in a little zip-baggie attached to most clothes from "Ross".)
...an antique rouge container by Cara Nome from Langlois New York.
...a 1920's gold Gruen watch with a broken crystal. I bought it about 17 years ago at a junk auction.
...two little plastic aliens. One is purple. The other is a yellow alien surfing on a missile holding up a "welcome" sign.
...plastic statue of "Pinkie". (From "Pinkie and The Brain" cartoon show, DUH!)
...a bubble-gum-machine ring that has a big pink stone surrounded by clear stones and it's completely adjustable to all ring sizes. A present from the aforementioned stepson.
...my silver-and-turquoise baby ring. I'll have to tell a funny story about it sometime...
...a flashing Budweiser pin.
...a flashing American flag pin.
...a "Future Homemakers of America" pin.
...an owl pin and the spectacles raise up and down.
...a green MDA shamrock pin.

There are many more items, they don't have any rhyme or reason, they just ARE. And I cannot seem to be able to part with any of these things.
Someday maybe.

My, has it been a year already?

The new company truck came with a lot of out-of-state projects. I spent October 2006 in East Texas; November in Panhandle Texas; December in Montana, Nebraska, Wyoming, and South Dakota; January in New Mexico; and February in Kentucky. I decided that was too much travel, so I took a project in Muskogee, OK for March through May of 2007. As soon as that project ended, I took another in Charleston, SC. I've been in S.C. now for 4 months. This project will end around the first of November. It seems as though I've jumped out of the kettle and into the fire.


The preceding was meant to explain why I've been so remiss in my blog posting, but the truth is I've just been forgetting to update when I DO have access to a computer.

It rained all Summer in Oklahoma, so the sunflower contest was a bust. All the plants drowned before they were tall enough to bloom. The house flooded in my absence, so Rob was left with the task of recarpeting and repainting the entire house. I came home for a visit this weekend and it's beautiful. He chose a vivid blue for the walls and a blue textured carpet. It's colorful, definitely my style. Some would say I'm impractical in my desire for colors in the house, but I just can't stand white walls. So I'm proud of him for choosing a colored paint.

I also have a puppy. She is a blue heeler, we've had her for about 5 months now. I named her Jazmine; Jazzy for short. She has the same stubbornness and analytical mind I've come to expect from the breed. She's a thinker, which is a trait you have to work around when trying to train her; because as you know, humans make no sense at all. First, they want you to sit, then catch, then sit again. "Why waste time? Just let me jump up and down and I'll catch everything." "Then they say go away, I don't want to pet you. But if you turn around and come back, sometimes they will change their mind and pet you." I've taken the dogs out to the farm to swim in the pond. Brinka and Jazzy love the water. I'll swim out and call them and they both come to me.

I'm really looking forward to building my house out at the farm. I can't wait until I have my very own 37 acre playground. I have plans...

Well, tomorrow is Labor Day. I have to fly back to Charleston, SC for another two months. I didn't mention what I'm doing: we're cabling a large building at the Charleston Air Force Base. 2460 cat6 cables, 3 12-strand multimode fiber, 1 12-strand singlemode fiber, 4 100-pair cat3 feeders, and 1 300-pair cat3 feeder. It's hot and steamy in S.C., I've found my favorite spot at the beach and collected some seashells, got a little bit of color in my cheeks, and dropped 2 sizes in my jeans. I have blisters on both my big toes from my derned steel-toe boots, but I'm making some decent money - - cha ching!

It's nice being back with a crew again. It makes the traveling easier to handle when there's a familiar face (or 5) at the other end. I'm with my core crew from the Muskogee V.A. project. We've gotten to be good friends. We're actually a great crew. We all work hard, are self-motivated, and every one of us is reliable and trustworthy. I'll be sorry to see the crew break up after this project. We should be pimped out as a group. Our name should be THE CREW, and we can throw some cable (and some conduit). Oh well, daydreaming again.

It's been nice visiting with you awhile. Sorry I did all the talking this time. So much has happened since we last got together. Have I lost all my readership? I'm pretty sure everyone got tired of reading that last post for the past year. I resolve to try and write more often.

Peace and Sunflowers Ya'll.
MsAmber