Gosh, I really need some moral support right now.
I feel as though I must censor myself here and NOT say what I feel, because some in my readership are far too connected with the disturbing events at hand.
There is a parable about the Talmud:
A Rabbi poses a question to his Talmud students.
Lets say you need to borrow your neighbor's lawnmower. Every time in the past, when you have asked, he has always said "Yes, certainly you may."
This particular weekend, the neighbor is on vacation and you really need to borrow the lawnmower, but asking his permission is not possible...
If you borrow the mower - is it stealing?
Most of the students said no, that it would be alright.
The Rabbi informs them that it IS INDEED stealing. According to Talmudic Law.
There have been debates for centuries over this simple concept.
Do I go along with the group? Do I keep my own hands clean and follow the moral code and thereby get the group in trouble?
Others of my acquaintance have a very self-serving view of themselves, they are self-righteous and greedy. I have been counseled many times that it is a posture of self-preservation that I need to adopt in my own life. That: "They don't care about you, you need to care about you. Get while the getting's good."
I am also systematically being disillusioned and disappointed in my current situation. I am slowly beginning to realize that "We" are the bad guys.
Oooh, how that rankles me.
I nearly cried at my latest revelation. I'm sure that I shall sleep fitfully until I can accept or find my way out of the maze.
I think I have been vague enough. I'm afraid I cannot be any more specific.
I do so want to be true, to myself, to others. I like to live transparently and have no secrets. Things such as this are like bricks to my soul.
What I wouldn't give for some wise counsel...
Goodnight.
MsAmber
Bad Poetry?
- MsAmber
- I am complex, yet simple. I am hearty and frail. I am selfish and generous. I let my emotions prevail. I want to make some sense of it. Of Life, and Love, and God. I want to bring back the simple things. I know that makes me odd. But if you'll stay and read awhile maybe you'll start to see. Then maybe I can share with you a little part of me. MsAmber
1 comment:
Sounds like you have quite the conundrum circling around in your head. As far as the Talmud Rabbi’s question, it is difficult when you give it thought, because it is a yes or no question. If it was a right or wrong question it is a given that it is wrong. Without knowing the details of your situation it is also difficult to give advise. They only thing I can suggest is continue to be true to yourself. Some of the most difficult decisions in life are being brave enough to stay true to your beliefs and making that hard choice. By making that hard choice at this time you may not think so, but in the future it could become your advantage, not to mention your own peace of mind. Knowing MsAmber and being a very large fan I know that you have the good sense and proper judgment to please the Talmud Rabbi in your choices in life.
R.W.
Post a Comment