I am angry today.

I hitched up last Monday (Labor Day) and drove to Norman, Oklahoma. I loaded up both the van and the truck at the shop on Tuesday morning and drove to Russellville Arkansas. Installed two batteries and a Sensaphone alarm monitoring system at the VA clinic in Russellville on Wednesday, then drove to Conway Arkansas. I installed two batteries and a Sensaphone in Conway on Thursday. Then hitched up and drove straight down here to Natchitoches, Louisiana. I got here at 2:00 am on Friday morning.
I stopped in Shreveport and visited with friends for a couple of hours, but finished the drive that night.
Jeremy is with me on these installs, and he is driving my van.
I don't know...
He doesn't have the level of independence that I expect. He doesn't seem to care enough. He fixed a couple of things on the RV yesterday, but he left the back of my truck open all night with all my tools inside. I got furious when I woke up this morning and saw the back of my truck open. The good news is that nothing was stolen. Amazing considering that we are in a campground in Louisiana. But he doesn't have the means to replace all my tools if something should happen. How can you forget something so important like that? Shoot. I would wake up in the middle of the night and freak out "Did I lock the van?" and go check. I check and double check myself all the time. I'll even get up and see if I locked the RV door.

He tries to argue with me about shit that I KNOW. I discovered that my dc lights weren't working in the rv with the truck turned off, so I figured the battery lead might be disconnected or corroded. He tried telling me that "New ones have a printed circuit board that keeps the battery from running stuff when it's hooked up to the truck and the truck is turned off". I don't think so. I just shut him down by saying it's obvious he doesn't understand dc power circuits like I do, and that I would fix the problem when we stop. At least he took the initiative to look at the problem and fix it yesterday, but that's not the first time that he's bullshitted and pretended that he knows something that he really doesn't. That annoys me to no end.

I got angry when I woke up, and haven't been able to calm down now for two hours. Dammit.
I said "I can't believe you did that!" he answered with a high pitched, sarcastic "Sor-ry". Like I'm overreacting. I haven't opened my mouth since. I have my coffee and cigarettes and laptop outside and I'm staying outside until I can talk myself down. I am soooo pissed! My heart is thumping!
I see my reflection in the monitor and I have a deep furrowed scowl on my face that I can't wipe off... and bad bags under my eyes...

I need to put on my walkman and blast my head with some really loud music to make this anger go away. I need to clean something. I need to be alone right now. I need a cerebro-enema.
I don't know what I need, but I don't think it's here.

MsAmber