My attitude seems to be better today.

I woke up and it appears as though I'm calmer today. So far so good.

I'm drinking my coffee and checking emails. I opened the front door and the window beside my desk. I do love Louisiana in the morning. It's still cool outside, but it does get hot here during the day. I think it might stay overcast today. It feels very humid. Soupy.
I never minded the heat and humidity since I get up early, I heat up with the day.
I spent the entire day indoors yesterday. That's what I don't like. Hiding inside with the air conditioning. Makes me feel like I lost a whole day.

I would like to stop smoking and be able to run again. I'm not sure I can run anymore without gasping for air. I'm too young to feel this damned old.

My insurance agent has added the new truck to my policy. Now I'm paying $2k a year for auto insurance. I asked her to add the rv weeks ago, still haven't heard anything and the rv insurance is due for renewal on the 15th. Do I pay it to keep coverage or do I nag at my agent on Monday and do a rush-rush? I still have to come up with $1100 to pay for tags on the truck. Yep, wish there were two of me.

Crazy squirrel (aka: Freydis) is calming down nicely. She comes and retrieves her Apple Jacks cereal straight out of my fingers. She isn't afraid anymore. In fact: she's getting downright bold.
Megabyte is having mouth problems again. I have to get more antibiotics from the vet next week when I get back to Altus.

I'm trying to figure out if I should sell the van, or put it in storage, or trade it to Jerry for the 1999 F-250 with the v-10 engine and 200,000 miles? I'm supposed to take a look at the 1999 Ford when I pass through Ardmore next Thursday: give it a test-drive and think about it. Still, that doesn't put cash in my bank and I still have the problem of two vehicles and one driver. But if it's more salable than the van, it might be a good idea. That van wouldn't blue-book for much, but it's definitely worth $5k. I really don't want to get rid of it. The only thing wrong is the paint is peeling off in places. Otherwise it's solid - only 80,000 miles. I've put a lot of extras on it.
Another thing: it carries a lot more than the truck. It will hold my toolboxes and an entire IPDA installation. Seven-foot racks and ten-foot ladder racks and all the other equipment. The truck will not - it only has a 6 1/2 foot bed.
Makes me want to keep it. At least I know it's reliable.

Well, I really need a shower, so I'm off.
Have a great day.
MsAmber

I am angry today.

I hitched up last Monday (Labor Day) and drove to Norman, Oklahoma. I loaded up both the van and the truck at the shop on Tuesday morning and drove to Russellville Arkansas. Installed two batteries and a Sensaphone alarm monitoring system at the VA clinic in Russellville on Wednesday, then drove to Conway Arkansas. I installed two batteries and a Sensaphone in Conway on Thursday. Then hitched up and drove straight down here to Natchitoches, Louisiana. I got here at 2:00 am on Friday morning.
I stopped in Shreveport and visited with friends for a couple of hours, but finished the drive that night.
Jeremy is with me on these installs, and he is driving my van.
I don't know...
He doesn't have the level of independence that I expect. He doesn't seem to care enough. He fixed a couple of things on the RV yesterday, but he left the back of my truck open all night with all my tools inside. I got furious when I woke up this morning and saw the back of my truck open. The good news is that nothing was stolen. Amazing considering that we are in a campground in Louisiana. But he doesn't have the means to replace all my tools if something should happen. How can you forget something so important like that? Shoot. I would wake up in the middle of the night and freak out "Did I lock the van?" and go check. I check and double check myself all the time. I'll even get up and see if I locked the RV door.

He tries to argue with me about shit that I KNOW. I discovered that my dc lights weren't working in the rv with the truck turned off, so I figured the battery lead might be disconnected or corroded. He tried telling me that "New ones have a printed circuit board that keeps the battery from running stuff when it's hooked up to the truck and the truck is turned off". I don't think so. I just shut him down by saying it's obvious he doesn't understand dc power circuits like I do, and that I would fix the problem when we stop. At least he took the initiative to look at the problem and fix it yesterday, but that's not the first time that he's bullshitted and pretended that he knows something that he really doesn't. That annoys me to no end.

I got angry when I woke up, and haven't been able to calm down now for two hours. Dammit.
I said "I can't believe you did that!" he answered with a high pitched, sarcastic "Sor-ry". Like I'm overreacting. I haven't opened my mouth since. I have my coffee and cigarettes and laptop outside and I'm staying outside until I can talk myself down. I am soooo pissed! My heart is thumping!
I see my reflection in the monitor and I have a deep furrowed scowl on my face that I can't wipe off... and bad bags under my eyes...

I need to put on my walkman and blast my head with some really loud music to make this anger go away. I need to clean something. I need to be alone right now. I need a cerebro-enema.
I don't know what I need, but I don't think it's here.

MsAmber