Saturday Morning

Alright, it's only 9:00 a.m. and already I'm ducking for cover from the heat. It's 87 degrees in the house. Probably low 90's outside. I hate locking myself up, so I might just get out the hose and wash the truck. I feel claustrophobic when I close the doors. And, yes, I'm still drinking hot coffee. Probably should switch to lemonade.

Spot attacked Meg under the table the other night, so I whipped his butt and made him go lay down. He's been acting strangely since then. He doesn't listen, and insists on going out the door when I go, and coming back in when I do. He is clinging to me hard. Chad and I wrestled for a minute in the kitchen yesterday and Spot got very upset. He was snappy all evening. When Chad's daughter reached down to kiss Spot on the head, he snapped at her. Scared the daylights out of her. He's regressed to his aggressive behavior, which I thought I had cured. I probably shouldn't have raised a hand to him when he attacked Meg, but Meg was yelping and I overreacted. So, I need to reassure Spot that he's still my boy, and get him over his insecurities again. One step forward and two steps back. I can't show preferential treatment to Spot, though, or he'll assume the dominant stance over Meg again. Poor Meg. He wasn't hurt as far as I can tell, he's just a tender-hearted old man.

I have a little wart growing on my right-ring-finger knuckle. I need a razor blade to cut it out. I'll probably get to that today, so the tenderness will be gone by Monday. I just can't stand the thought of a wart. Ewww, disgusting.

Already I'm bored. Isn't there something I can do? Maybe I'll dig out all my mending and get that done. I know there are a couple of things missing buttons and my white sweater has a hole in the back...
I just don't want to sit around all day in the cool indoors.

You have a great day. I'm going to go find some mischief.
Speaking of mischief: I want to find my old boss's truck and saran-wrap it real good. Doesn't that sound like fun? Preferably in the evening when he's in a bar getting drunk. Harmless prank. A friend suggested that I pull an old-fashioned bologna fry - that's when you put a bunch of slices of bologna on the hood of a vehicle in this heat. I understand it peels the paint off in perfect circles. That's a little too hard-core for me, I don't want to do damage. Just a friendly reminder that I'm still offended and still around. That's the statement I want to make. I'll probably never get around to doing it, but I can't help fantasizing about it. Saran-wrap. Too funny.
I heard through the grapevine that Nate fired Penny. It will wind up being a good thing for Penny when she finds another job. She's a very good girl and sharp as a tack. Some company will be very lucky to get her. I'm glad in one way that she's free from his abuses, but sad for her because I'm sure she feels slighted. Just think of it like this: you've been ejected from the trash. Not because you're not good enough: but because you are too good.
I've worked for a lot of companies and I've never felt this hateful towards any of them. This will show up in a search engine someday: Atlantic Cable Services Incorporated in Lafayette is the worst company to work for. Abuse, dishonesty, crappy pay, broken promises, and hostile work environment. Nate Yancey is the sorry Manager of Lafayette ACSI. Wanna sue me for this? Go right ahead and try. I have documented these abuses, this is my blog, and I stand behind my words.
Now, if you have any questions about this company, just respond to this post.
MsAmber

Tuesday evening blog...

Yesterday morning I went and bought 5 gallons of gas. I put the Toyota and the Nissan nose-to-nose and hooked up the jumper cables, then I ran a piece of fuel line from the fuel pump on the Toyota directly into my 5 gallon gas-can and fired-that-mother-up.
It idles for a bit, then it loads up and burps through the carburetor and dies. Sometimes it works through the loading up and returns to normal idle, but it never idled for more than about 3 minutes at a time. But it sure was loud. With that catalytic converter removed, it was very noisy. I had the neighborhood's attention anyway. They all heard me working on the truck.
Mr. Wilton's grandson, Jason, came by and tried to tell me that he thinks it's the fuel pump, (even though I told him I changed it) and he wanted to stand over it and pour gas from a bottle directly into the throat. We did discover that I had gasoline in my oil. I just changed that oil and now it's about a quart overfull with gas. Sooo, Jason thinks he can finish the Toyota and he made me an offer of $250.00, (actually, he came up with $249.00) and I let him take it away. Boy do I feel relieved. It's Outta Here!
Mr. Wilton came with him to pick it up, and I tried to tell them what I've already done to the truck and he shushed me, he said he knows what all I've done. So at least they know what they're getting into.
I'll take my time and find another builder, but it will be at least a 3/4 ton.

I wasn't feeling all too energetic today. I had an interview this morning, and put my paycheck in the bank then came home. I stayed inside all day - I took a little nap under the air conditioner vent and woke up and I couldn't breathe. My lungs were totally seized up. I hate it when that happens.

This evening I cooked shrimp-n-grits. My specialty. I had Chad and his daughter over for dinner, and I fixed a plate for Ms. Doris. She never heard of serving shrimp with grits but she loves it. I'm still stuffed. There's a leftover brownie from Saturday in the fridge... maybe I'll eat that too. Mmmmm.

You have a great night.
MsAmber

I mowed yesterday.

I mowed the entire field, moved the Toyota and organized my stuff. It looks rather nice if I do say so myself. Got a little more tan. I'm really getting dark across my shoulders and arms. I have freckles that I never knew I had. It would seem also that I'm becoming impervious to the heat, or maybe it was just that pleasant outside yesterday... who knows. I have a tiny touch of a headache today, I think it was from breathing all that dirt and grass.

Man, I couldn't sleep a wink last night. I tossed and turned and tossed and turned. I was tired, but I just couldn't shut my mind off.

Why do ant bites always make a little white head? There's a mystery for you.

Yesterday, being Father's day, I was unable to get my Dad on the phone. It went straight to voicemail. So I left him a happy message.

My friend Nicky went back to work for ACSI. She was getting a little frustrated looking for another job, so she went back and asked to be reinstated. Not me, I'll dig ditches first. I feel as though some serious grovelling and apologies are due me before I would even consider it. Life is hard enough without having to hate your job. I'm naturally a cheerful employee, and some jobs bring out the best, some bring out the worst. I belong in a job that brings out the best in me.

Well, I got my jeans on, I think I'll head down to the grocery store and stock up on cheap-foods while I still have a little bit of money. Mmmmm, ramen noodles...

You have a great day.
MsAmber

I've been remiss.

OK, I was reading through some of my most recent posts and realized that I've left out some important stuff.

I went for an interview on a Friday (not yesterday, but the one before), and found a start-up company that installs root barrier systems. The gal is nice, and she's certainly a talker, but I'm pretty sure her mouth is writing checks that her ass can't cash. We'll see, the verdict is still out. Anyway, she wanted a website, so I came home and bought the domain (www.TLCProtectiveEdge.com) and directed it towards my hosting space at MsAmber.com. I threw down a simple three-page spread. She had my friend Nicky call me and ask for tri-fold brochures also. So I made a simple brochure. I'm pretty sure that I won't get paid for my efforts, but I am supportive of what she's trying to do, so I'll help out. But I did tell her that I can't afford to hemorrhage money, so unless she has work for me to do, I don't plan on driving to Rayne just to show up. She's offering $125.00/day to go put in barriers. The job primarily consists of digging and cutting roots.

Well, it dawned on me that I needed to solve my transportation problem pretty quick. If I am to take any decent job, I need wheels. Just so happened that Mark Crabtree called from Shreveport to see how I was doing. I told him about my lack-of-transportation and he offered to loan me his old red Nissan pickup. I said "Hell, yeah! I'll be there tomorrow." I joked that I would ride my bicycle to Shreveport if I needed.

Saturday morning I started hitchhiking to Shreveport. I got to Opelousas and the police stopped to check me. I discovered that I had left my stupid wallet on my desk. (Remember, I bought that domain name?) I had memorized my license number, but boy did I feel dumb. I didn't have any money or my debit card. How was I supposed to drive that truck back? Anyway, I was too far to turn back so I just kept on truckin'. I caught some good rides, I left at 8 a.m. and I got to Shreveport at 1:00 p.m. A strange coincidence of the day: Two different guys who picked me up were named Michael, and a couple pulling hay gave me a ride and they had two Archangel Michael medallions hanging from their rear-view mirror. I can't help but think that Michael was looking out for me. I had no incidences and I didn't walk too too much, but boy was it hot! The last ride practically forced me to take a $10.00 bill to buy something to drink. (I counted the change in the bottom of my purse and it came to exactly $.99 cents.)
Mark and Missie were glad to see me. They saw how skinny I am and they asked me what I did with Amber. I responded that I ate her. I had a nice visit. Missie handed down her small jeans to me, because I was lamenting the fact that I have no clothes that fit. I gave her the clothes I was wearing, and I left with a really cool pair of patched jeans and a low-cut black and pink polka dotted top. We dug out all the change to be found = $12.00. So, I left with $22.99 and I found a penny on the ground when I got to the gas station. That was just enough to get home on. I was worried that I was driving on fumes by the time I got here. I ran the whole way without air-conditioning to increase my gas mileage, glad I did.

So now I have transportation. I don't have any solid job prospects yet, but the main obstacle to progress has been removed. I washed the truck real good. It has a front license plate that says: "Stay Clear Bitch On Wheels", which I think I shall turn around. I like statements, but that's not exactly what I want to say.

So, I'm going to end this entry with a heartfelt shout-out and gratitude to Mark Crabtree and Missie. Thank you guys so very much.

MsAmber

Went out last night.

Two beer, two soda, three games of pool. Had a great time.

I'm sitting at my desk this morning, a little later than usual, drinking my coffee and responding to emails. I'm listening to some Bob Dylan, and the sound of the washer agitating my final load of whites. It's only 8 a.m. but it's starting to warm up a bit; my indoor thermometer says 82 degrees. I have the doors and windows open and a fan gently blowing my direction. Is this heaven or what?

I got the clothes all sorted and put away, so my closets and cupboards are completely organized. All my tools are safely stashed away. My only real chore left is to put air in the flat tire on the Toyota and push it around to the other side of my camper. I filled my air-tank for this occasion, but I really can't do it alone. It needs to be pushed AND steered, and it's unfortunately settled into some really deep grass. I'll wait until some unsuspecting victim comes by for a visit. Muwah ha ha ha haaaaa.

...Tangled Up In Blue.

I think I'll soft boil an egg and make toast.
You have a great Saturday (Sabbath).
MsAmber

Biting off more than I can chew.

Doesn't that seem like me?
I'm doing laundry right now and sorting out my clothes. I want to put away all cold-weather stuff, and bag up all the clothes that are too big. So far I have done the drawers, and now I'm pulling all the clothes out of the cupboards and closets and piling them on the bed.
I erected the cabin-tent to use as a shed, and I've stacked all my outdoor stuff inside. Bicycle, lawnmower, fishing poles and tacklebox, my tub of automotive liquids, extra stuff like that. I need the storage space under my bed cleaned out so that I can store my tools. I have tools in the back of the Toyota covered with a tarp, and all the tools that I just unloaded from the company truck. I need them in a safe place, so the storage compartment under the bed is being appropriated.
I may have undertaken too much of a task. It's only 10:45 and it's getting so hot out there that I'm soaking wet in 10 minutes. Whatever, I can finish tomorrow if I must.
I took a cool shower and shaved my legs and lotioned them. They are getting a little tan, my shoulders and back are splotchy from peeling, I'm a little self-conscious over that, but my chest, neck and arms look real good (IMO, of course).

I paid all my bills and I'm proud to announce that I am $84.00 in the positive!
Oh, I have to laugh at myself for some of the situations I put myself in.
It's only money. They'll print more, right?

OK, I'm cooled off enough to get back at it.
You have a great day.
MsAmber

Got into a little "tiff" yesterday.

I went to the shop at 7:15 in the morning yesterday to get my tools and final paycheck. Nate was in a mood. He handed me the spare keys to the cab of the truck, but not the tool boxes. I hung around for an hour, expecting that the kid who was driving my truck might show up - by 8:15 he still wasn't there, so I asked Nate if the kid was coming in. He started yelling and gesticulating wildly with his arms: "I TOLD you that I have the keys, you can either wait until I'm not busy or come back LATER!" He screamed. So I mimicked him back and waved my arms around wildly and said: "I was fixin' to TELL you that I have some place to be and I will have to come back LATER!", and I stormed out. I went to Rayne and took care of that business and came back to the shop. I was back at 9:20. I received the Fed-Ex envelope which contains the paychecks and found out that I was not allowed to have mine. Penny called Nate to inquire whether I could have my check and he flew off the handle at her for putting him on speakerphone. She started crying. She's had enough of him yelling at her for everything and nothing. (Nate himself ALWAYS calls people on speakerphone.) He said I would just have to wait. I left, but I was once again outraged at his behavior towards Penny, so I called ACSI corporate and inquired if Nate had any justification for holding my check (and my tools, by the way). The receptionist put me on hold and called Nate. Apparently he was really rude to her also, she commented to me that he wasn't acting very "managerial". (There's the understatement of the year!) Later in the day when Nate came in, he called everyone but me to come pick up their checks. This morning I again showed up at 7:15, I was treated with a bit more courtesy. I was allowed to remove my tools. He almost tried to accuse me of taking a cell-phone charger, which I proved that I gave over to Jherric. I turned in the few company-issued tools and got them signed off and gathered the rest of my stuff. He tried to get the guys to corroborate with him that he handed out checks yesterday and I could have come in the evening and picked mine up - all I would have had to do was call and ask. I said "That's wrong, you're just trying to cover up the fact that you withheld my check deliberately yesterday." We almost engaged in another battle, but he was being cautious because his boss was there. I'm grateful that Barry was there because the transition went smoothly, but in a way I wish he wasn't because I was ready for another screaming match today. I'm not letting that bully push me around another second. He may make Penny cry, but I assure you he will not treat me with less than the respect or courtesy I deserve. I'm still daydreaming of slapping him soundly across the cheek for his past transgressions.
Well, I'm proud to say that my business there is wrapped up. I got my final check and I got my tools. I said my "goodbyes" to the boys. Each one confiding that they can't take much more of Nate themselves. It's a shame. That crew consisted of some good guys, I enjoyed working with them most of all. At least I made some solid friends while I was there.
Anyway, that's it for that little adventure. I'll keep you updated on what else comes down the pike for me.
You have a great day.
MsAmber

Official Results:

I went to WalMart this morning, and I'm thrilled to report that I weigh 129 pounds, fully clothed. Yes, that's right. I have lost 41 pounds and I am now smaller than I've ever been. Previously my skinny weight was 137. I never dreamed I would get down smaller than that.
I rarely drink soda. No sugar or cream in my coffee. I eat one meal per day, with a little snacking if I'm absolutely starving-hungry. I've pretty much shut down the feeling of being hungry. I barely recognize it anymore. I would estimate my daily caloric intake to be around 500. I drink mainly water and coffee, but the other day I drank a whole gallon of apple juice, just couldn't help myself.
I sweat all day. I am out in the sun doing something every day. Whether it's mowing, laundry, or moving stuff around, I'm outside.
So, this is the secret to me being skinny, suntanned/burnt, and happy.

Just thought I'd share.
You have a great day.
MsAmber

I like this poem. I think I shall print and display it.

At the next vacancy for God, if I am elected,
I shall forgive last the delicately wounded who,
having been slugged no harder than anyone else,
never got up again, neither to fight back,
nor to finger their jaws in painful admiration.

They who are wholly broken, and they in whom mercy is understanding,
I shall embrace at once and lead to pillows in heaven.
But they who are the meek by trade, baiting the best of their betters with extortions of a mock-helplessness,
I shall take last to love, and never wholly.

Let them all in Heaven - I abolish Hell -
but let it be read over them as they enter:
Beware the calculations of the meek, who gambled nothing
gave nothing, and could never receive enough.

My charisma is failing me.

Never in my life have I had such a hard time finding a job. For those of you who are out of the loop, or are dependent on this blog to know what I'm doing, I quit ACSI.
The work was too physical, paid too little, and the bullshit/degradation was too hard to take. I've never had to tolerate being screamed at for no good reason, and I've always been enabled to take responsibility for crafting solutions to attain complete customer satisfaction. There, I was "merely" an installer. Too much bending of the rules, too little common-sense. So, yes, I sabotaged myself again. I am sitting here in Lafayette with no truck and no job. Am I crazy? Probably.
I have faith that I will get back on top again soon, I just dread the struggle sometimes. The last fight cost me 30 pounds. I don't have 30 more to spare. I have few clothes that fit, I'm recycling the same two pairs of pants. But I have plenty of dogfood for the dogs and plenty of rice and coffee for me. I bought a bicycle also. I can ride that bugger till the cows come home if I must.

This town is just so hard to break into. I feel like an outsider in a closed community. I guess if I drank, or hung out with the locals more, I might find a way in. Surely there's a job for me around here somewhere. I'm just starting to feel the burn of being without my truck. I feel a little trapped.

Today I'm going to finish painting the wheels on the Toyota and take it down off the jack-stands. I haven't solved the fuel problem yet, but I will before the end of the week. I need to move my trailer away from the doublewide house that's being moved soon. I've been told that they are coming this week to haul that thing off so I'm not going to wait until I'm in a bind to get my rig moved out of the way temporarily.

I woke up around 1:00 a.m. with my hands itching like crazy. I got up and washed them, lotioned them, then grabbed the cold compress out of the refrigerator and slept with the cold compress on my hands. It was weird to have such horribly itching hands.

Well, I have a lot to do before it gets too hot. The days have been near 90 degrees around here. Noon is not the time to be riding my bicycle to town. I felt the heart-palpitations and faintness of over-exertion yesterday, came home and laid down (for just a minute), I crashed for 4 whole hours, complete and total unconsciousness. I need to be more careful in this heat. The good news is that I'm drinking a lot more water nowadays. I'm sure my kidneys appreciate it.

You have a great day.
MsAmber

I had a bad dream last night.

I threw the dogs in a pond. I noticed that neither dog was swimming, they went straight to the bottom. I jumped in, it was only waist deep. I pulled Spot out, he was just sitting on the bottom, holding his breath and his eyes were wide open. He was waiting patiently for me to pick him up. I grabbed him and tossed him onto land, then I looked for Megabyte. I couldn't find him anywhere. I was screaming for some light, the water was so murky and I was feeling around with my hands and feet. I lost Meg. I felt so bad because he trusted me to find him and I could not. I was panicking and heartbroken when I woke up.
I'm still sad and I'm awake now. Both dogs are just fine, though. Why didn't they swim? And I'll never forget the look on Spot's face, just holding his breath and looking up, waiting for me to get him. It was pure trust.

Shake it off MsAmber, it was just a dream.

I have today off. I'm going to do laundry.
You have a great day.
MsAmber

I defurred the house.

I never got around to working on the truck yesterday. I wound up taking all the furniture out of the house and I cleaned every inch. I even scrubbed the shower walls. I rearranged the furniture a little bit, and Windexed the windows. It was overdue for a thorough cleaning. I feel so much better now.
RVs should never have carpet. I would like to remove all the carpet and just lay linoleum on the floors and a few scatter-rugs. Easier to clean. I shampoo'd the carpets and they are good and clean for the time being, but with my muddy boots and the dogs' muddy paws, it won't last long.
I really don't have anything else to say this morning, so I'm just going to hit "publish" and call it good.

You have a great day.
MsAmber