I didn't fall off the planet... yet.

Hello everyone. I've been a little busy with normal living-stuffs.
Saturday last, I hosted a very successful bar-b-que for my Father Bill, his wife Brenda, my Father-in-law Dick and my Mother-in-law Dolores. Rob perfectly grilled the most scrumptious T-Bone steaks ever seen on this side of the Earth. The company was great, the house was clean, the dogs were on their best manners. I still have a warm fuzzy from the event.
One nice surprise of the evening. My step-mom Brenda greeted me with the biggest heartfelt hug I have ever received from her. I truly felt the warmth and sincerity in that hug. I know I'm strange to take so much meaning out of a simple embrace, but when it's there, you can feel it. That means the world to me. Oh how I dislike a fake hug, as much as a man would dislike a wet fish handshake. It just meant so much.
How is it that I am a 35 year old woman, with all the stubbornness and self-confidence of any other adult, but at the mere sight of my parents, I become an insecure, try-too-hard-to-please, freak? I shampooed the carpets until the water ran clear. I couldn't get the house clean enough. I worried about the refrigerator being dirty, the dogprints on the floor, the smells exuding from our well-loved furniture, etc. I wish I could be confident enough to say "Screw it, either take me as I am or leave me alone." But no, I have to be a clean-freak and bust my azz to get everything not just clean, but perfectly clean. I'm such a child sometimes.
The dinner went wonderfully, everyone enjoyed it and I can let the house get dirty again.
Now I'm back to work and I am having a hard time finding my motivation. I hope my complacency doesn't get me fired. I think I may have just expended too much energy on one weekend, and now I don't have any motivation left.
Ah, C'est La Vie, I guess.

MsAmber