Monday, December 12, 2005

HA! When I was 19...

I-could-kick-everybody's-azz!
I worked on my own truck. The one behind me I paid $600.00 for it. 3speed standard on the column, manual steering, tool-bed with ladder racks.
I'd been on my own for over three years and I knew what I was doing.
I was in Control.
I dipped Copenhagen.
I rode horses.
I hated authority.
I hated drunks and drug addicts.
I carried a gun in my jeans.
I could lift anything, Do anything,
Go anywhere I pleased.
I had hillbilly sensibilities:
I could kill it, clean it, cook it, and eat it.
I could live in the woods and survive off the land.

I saved seeds and put them in labelled envelopes.

I would steal any animal that was being abused, and find a better home for it.
I was certain that I would have occasion to use my gun if anybody tried to hurt me.
I traded my Bear Whitetail Left-handed compound bow for a new set of brakes.
I almost shot a guy for saying I looked like I got my clothes out of a dumpster.
When my truck was broke down, I used my thumb to get around.
I went to jail for 72 hours each 5 times for hitchhiking. Three were in Texas - they kept my gun.

I could get a job simply by walking up to a construction site and asking to be a laborer, promising that I could outwork the slobs they got leaning on brooms outside, and I always did.
My favorite T-Shirt was black with a skull on the front wearing a confederate flag headband.
I wore a bandana around my left thigh.
I always wore workboots, and I LOVED camo pants. I had a real appreciation for good workgloves also.
I always carried a very good pocketknife- sharp.
I always had extra shirts on. Two or three anyway.
I could really hustle the drunks at a pool-table. I hated drunks anyway.
My favorite denim jacket had battery acid holes and smelled like used engine oil and smoke from a woodburning stove. It weighed about 5 pounds.
I thought electricity is something that you get turned on for the winter, and let it get shut off in the summer.
I drained the old oil out of the truck to put in the chainsaw, because you never waste new oil on a chainsaw.
I always pulled over and changed old-folks' tires on the side of the road. 'Cuz I got a system and I'm done in less than 10 minutes. (more like 7 minutes)
I always kept a 2 ton floor jack in my truck because I don't like, understand, or trust the (bottle jack, scissor jack, bumper jack) contraptions that come standard in most cars.
I'd never had air conditioning in my life. Not in a vehicle or house. But I always had a CB.
I understood heating very well. Oil burners, Gas, Coal, Wood, coal-fired boilers. I could light them and troubleshoot problems. Blower motors, thermocouplings, air in the lines, etc.
I could lay roofing, hang siding, rewire electrical outlets or fixtures, I knew torque, plumb/flush/level, and balls-on-top-dead-center. I "collected" Snap-On tools. (It weren't my fault if YOU left them laying around.)
I could create some variation of Biscuits and Gravy (gravy with anything else: biscuits, crackers, whitebread, noodles) out of any empty and destitute kitchen.
I washed my hair in Ivory bar soap, and brushed my teeth with salt or baking soda. I had no cavities.

I thought insurance was a government conspiracy to keep us poor. If you don't have insurance, then you can't drive, if you can't drive, you can't work... I wrote "Farm Use Only" on the side of my truck to get around having to buy insurance.

I am an Appalachian-American!

I'm sure glad I survived my teenage years and lived to tell about it.
But I'm also sure that I've gotten dumber as I've gotten older.

MsAmber

5 comments:

MsAmber said...

I forgot to mention:
I was absolutely in LOVE with John Denver and thought for sure if I could only meet him, I could convince him to marry me.
Only John Denver could understand me.
MsAmber

AlianaDrex said...

Now you've got me thinking...I know I actually WAS 19 once...but I cannot for the life of me remember it that vividly. I do however wish I could go back and slap that silly, little girl for choices made that were not terribly wise. Oh well, I guess that is the learning part. Nice blog, I'll be back.
Ali

Flubberwinkle said...

I disagree with you on that last line. There is no possible way you have lived these experiences and you have gotten dumber as you got older!!!
Perhaps you 'mellowed' a bit. You carry a big load of wisdom, common sense and know-how derived from your youth!!!
I wish I had been more decisive and tougher at 19. Again I take my hat off to ya Ms Amber. Wow.

mary grimm said...

Great post--also the 2 (I think) later ones about your mother. You should be writing a memoir.

Nicole said...

Guns? Trucks? Tools?? Dude, you RAWK!!!

I don't plan to be half this cool in LIFE!