Bad Poetry?
- MsAmber
- I am complex, yet simple. I am hearty and frail. I am selfish and generous. I let my emotions prevail. I want to make some sense of it. Of Life, and Love, and God. I want to bring back the simple things. I know that makes me odd. But if you'll stay and read awhile maybe you'll start to see. Then maybe I can share with you a little part of me. MsAmber
Tuesday, February 28, 2006
Child Abuse
I have been inundated with news about child abuse travesties lately and I have to rant about this and get it over with.
I believe in:
1. Public Trials.
2. Mandatory Sterilizations.
3. State Run Orphanages.
4. Zero Tolerance.
It's all pretty much self-explanatory.
Politically, this makes me an "authoritarian"? It's a shame, because I think it's a great solution to the problem.
Public Trials would keep the public aware of each and every case, and also help tune the public's definition of acceptable and unacceptable behavior.
Mandatory sterilizations for convicted child abusers (This idea is specifically for pedophiles, but it can be expanded to include the chronic abusers).
State run orphanages, AND the legal ability for a parent to easily give up all rights and privileges of being a parent. (We have to offer an 'option', and terminate parents' rights in the process.)
We need to draw up specific guidelines to define abuse - legally.
Orphanages would solve the foster home shortage problem. The amount of money given to foster homes per child is more than enough to support a group home or orphanage.
A zero-tolerance policy would ensure enforcement.
This is a subject that is particularly close to my heart. My achilles' heel, if you will. It pains me deeply to hear about a mother who cut off her daughter's arms because "God told her to". Or a little boy who's mother deliberately burned him on the stove for wetting his pants, or scalded him with boiling water, or drowned all three of her children, or the molester in Florida who buried the child in his sister's flowerbed. I could go on but I can't see the monitor through my tears.
Damn these people.
I was at Crall's blog today and participated in a conversation about reprimanding another person's unruly children in a restaurant. I got to thinking about it.
I think they are right to correct the child, but their reasons are wrong.
Crall corrected the child out of personal irritation. An unattended child was banging on something repetitively, and Crall said "Stop". Unsurprisingly, the mother was offended.
I would have caught the child's eye and signed "Shhh" with my finger to my lips, then smiled. If the child didn't respond correctly I would have escalated to asking the child/parent/waitstaff to handle it.
The difference as I see it is: I perceive the child as a person who may not realize they are being irritating.
I would handle an adult the same. What if your officemate was thinking about something else and tapping absentmindedly, their pencil on the desk? Would you grumpily bark "Stop" and risk embarassing him/her in front of everyone? Or would you instant message/ sign language that the tapping is driving you batty?
Well, I guess that's not a good example, I know both types of people in the office also. But I would respect the dignity of the other person and discreetly handle it.
This is not a slam on Crall. I remember when I would take the hardline attitude towards what I considered to be bad parents. Since then I have grown older and I have re-defined bad parents.
The ones who's children are happily playing by themselves don't necessarily qualify as bad parents just because the child is a little noisy in public.
Children are not an annoyance. You shouldn't expect to control their thoughts or personality. The concept that "children should be seen and not heard" is wrong and outdated. Children, by nature, want to please. They want to be good. Give the child the "choice" to be good and they will usually take it.
I'll bet a "shush" and a smile would've solved the whole problem.
MsAmber
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
6 comments:
zardoz says:
very sad, incident.
very strong ideas,ms AMBER.
==Z==
I think we have to agree that parents who cut off their children's limbs or boil them are CRAZY. NOT FIT FOR SOCIETY IN GENERAL. We shouldn't be discussing their parenting skills since they've lost all human and humane characteristics. Period. These examples are criminal and I think we should distinguish between criminal acts and parenting skills of making your child behave in public. Tolerating child abuse or any form of abuse -for that matter- is the same as endorsing it. Parenting is not about giving birth, it is about raising a responsible and psychologically fit person. Children are mimics. Child see, child do (and unfortunately, even later on as an adult). I agree with you on many points and I wouldn't want to excuse abusers because they were abused. Seek help. Stop the cycle.
Shussing or scolding a kid in public is demeaning for the kid. Either the kid (even the parents, if they're morons) will make more of a ruckus to get even or the kid will be scared sh*tless by you or his parents. You're right, Ms Amber a patient smile and a signal are suprisingly more effective. The kid who makes noise is used to getting yelled at and a silent gesture may fluster and discipline him/her.
I certainly don't have a problem with a person being humiliated for such behavior, but my concern about public trials would be the effect the publicity would have on the child.
Maybe the evil children I've seen misbehaving in Target, etc. are just the worst of the bunch, but you can usually look at them and tell that a simple "shh" will have absolutely no effect on them. Possibly because they're ripping items off the store shelves and hurling them at passersby while simultaneously telling their own mothers how much they hate them.
But I agree, I'd definitely try to at least communicate WITH the child rather than AT the child first. Kids deserve respect, too!
I still feel keenly the helplessness of being a child victim.
There is no one you can tell, no place to turn, no one you can trust.
There was a female principal of Largo Elementary School in Largo Florida who examined my bruises and called in my parent for a conference, then sent me home.
Someday I hope she realizes the repercussions of her inaction.
(and burns in hell)
I got a worse beating when we got home.
There NEEDS to be an option.
I know the times have changed, but they haven't changed that much. If I were an abused child right now, where could I go? On whom could I depend?
Can you answer?
MsAmber
Hopefully, there are Child Abuse Organizations and more educated educators and decent folk that a child can turn to, today, without fear.
A concerned neighbour like MsAmber would help. I'm sorry your childhood was without one.
What was in that principal's head and heart when she handed you back to abusing parents after loading them with another excuse to hurt you? How could she live with herself? A principal, nonetheless, responsible for hundreds of kids.
Hell sounds too easy for her.
Post a Comment