Great Falls Montana

Sorry, I've been remiss.

I've been in Great Falls Montana for two weeks now. The snow attacked me first when I came through Billings. I had 200 hairy, scary miles, towing the RV through blizzard-like conditions. Then the weather cleared up nicely for a couple of days - made me think of Spring. It has snowed off-and-on every other day. Yesterday I woke to 6 inches of snow and ice on the truck, today it's nearly 60 degrees and all the snow is melting.

My brother got into an ATV accident and broke his left scapula and cracked his skull in a couple of places. He's in a lot of pain right now, but he's out of the hospital. It's had me worrying a bit for the past week.

The site-survey is coming along just fine. We've hit the 40% milestone.
Boss asked if I'd like to relocate to the Northwest. Washington State, actually. I'm initially intrigued; but a little hesitant because I don't know if he's trying to change my occupational specialty. You remember I've said it before: I don't want to stop being a technician. I love working with my hands out in the field.

We'll see.

I'm a little bit lonesome. I think it's the cooking that gets me. I try to cook for one, but I always have leftovers. I don't want a boyfriend: I want somebody to eat the extra food I prepare and tell me that it's delicious. LOL.

I keep re-playing the movie "Eat, Pray, Love". I almost feel as though I wrote it - well not ALL of it, but certain things are fundamentally familiar to my soul. The speech about being a "permeable membrane" seems like I've read it before, or wrote it before. And the "physics of the quest"... I'm sure I knew that, too. (When I was young and free, and before I developed Fear.)

Speaking of which: I've recently been a vessel to receive a few epiphanies. I know that each one may sound stupid; all I can say is: you'd have had to have been there.

"If you never go where you've never gone, you'll never see what you've never seen."
(It kinda goes with the concept that you don't even know what you don't know...)

"Do you want to Live? Do you want to Breathe? Then STOP smoking!"

"Fear is a lack of Faith."

"What's the difference between one kind of addiction and another? Nothing."

"You're hair is a direct reflection of your mind."

"You are the sculptor of your life."

Similarly, I have always held on to all kinds of souvenirs of my past. Old photographs, old letters, trinkets of people and places I've been. I'm ready to give it all up. I do not wish to look back anymore. That's my anchor; not roots set down anywhere, but that I carry my baggage around: ready to whip it out at any occasion to reinforce my feelings of regret and self-loathing.
Where should I put the trunk-full of History?

I'm doing laundry now, so you have a great day.
MsAmber



...Chew on that awhile.

Have a great day.
MsAmber